Tuesday night and I’m sitting beside hubby at our dining room table. Both of us, with our eyes fixated on HIS and HER laptops, fingers rapidly moving with ease across that familiar space of the keyboard determined to complete the task at hand.
He, as a hardworking executive typing away never ending emails and me, trying to express myself this time with written words.
Eleven years ago we decided that I would quit my job and become a stay at home mom. A blessing and privilege that not a lot of women have. Yet I have been feeling very restless of late, questioning if we made the right choice. Feeling guilty for being at home and not contributing to our finances. What if I had chosen to pursue a career instead? Would hubby have to work as hard as he does? Would he be less stressed? Would we be better off?
Fast forward to yesterday when I received a call from the school secretary letting me know Isabella had just been sick and needed to be picked up. I quickly got my shoes on and drove five minutes to school.
There she was, my little girl waiting for her mom to arrive and her brave little face no longer able to contain her tears. “Are you okay baby?” I asked. “Yes, I was sick, and I wished you were there.” Her face pale and weak yet her words powerful, filling me with life because she had just answered my question.
Hubby and I made the right choice.
She stayed home with me today and I snuggled and babied that kid all day long because I could. I had no emails to answer, no phone calls to make, no meetings to attend. She was my only scheduled appointment. This is my job and I want to do all I can to do it well.
Have a beautiful day and thank you for being here for me.
much love,
Lucy
My gruesome-twosome are now grown-up but many years ago, when they were only about 5 or 6, I briefly went to work for my sister. She moved her office to a town much further from here and I felt uncomfortable at being so far from my little ones in case they needed me. So I sat them down and told them that I was going to stop going out to work and so there would be less money for us to spend. My son looked at me and said “oh don’t worry Mummy, we don’t need that money anyway”. I looked at my little childrens faces and it was obvious how much happier they were knowing that their Mummy would be at home. My husband and I have never regretted that decision, even though we have had less income, although I do realise that we are lucky that he earns enough to enable me to stay home.
you go, girl! 🙂 Esther from fleurcottage
Lucy,
Your post always touch my heart, but especially today. When I quit work to have my daughter, after waiting & trying for 14 years, I truly knew I was finally getting my promotion. Being a mom is the pinnacle of occupations! Yes, though it makes you feel incredibly vulnerable because you love your kid(s)so much, still there is no other investment as valuable, rewarding & filled with benefits that can rock your world. We are raising world changers & our kids “feel the love”! They are those that will in turn rock their world & stand strong among their piers and impact their generation!
Kudos to you & many blessing’s! I have never met you, but hear through your words that you are a lovely handmaiden of the Lord! I pray your day is filled with His grace & favor!
You are certainly on the right track! I was a stay-at-home Mom when my kids were little too. Those were some of the best years of my life. When the kids were all in school I worked from my home during the hours they were in school. It was a good solution for us. I didn’t make much money but I made a little bit for my personal use which was important to me.
Your family is so beautiful. The take right after their Mom. It brought tears to me eyes to read about your little one calling from school because it brought back so many memories. I am tearing up just writing about it- Okay…must be MushPot Wednesday for me!;>) xo Diana
I can completely relate! 🙂
Thank you, Lucy! Beautiful words for a beautiful life! This touched my heart today!
Beautiful post, Lucy. I completely agree. I’m really glad I started staying home three years ago. One of the best decisions I ever made.
You totally made the right choice…it’s a hard decision and many don’t get one, glad it works for you. Loved seeing your beautiful family.
Oh my heart! I am so grateful we decided for me to stay at home too. We actually decided that when we were foster parents figuring those precious hearts deserved nothing less then what we would give our own children. There are days I feel purposeless and the job seems thankless and then those sweet eyes look up at me with such love, or when I am asked to color, take a walk, or just snuggle. I then realize it the best job in the whole wide world! Beautiful post Lucy and such a reminder of the precious job we have as moms!
Sometimes we forget the real financial numbers and worth of being a stay at home Mom. ie: Bid to refinish ceiling after our remodel, $2000.00 I did it. There was no tax write-off allowed.(we are worth $0 to the government) How many hours of (you) working would it take to earn that money? Then there are the expenses of working outside the home: day care, clothing, car expenses, lunches, prepackaged quick dinners, etc… The peace and love in your home is worth all the money in the world! Just a friendly and practical reminder that you are doing the right thing!!! Stay at home Moms are priceless.
Beautiful post. Our children are grown and gone, but I too stay at home and Hubby works hard as an engineer. He enjoys that I stay home to take care of life and responsibilities here so that he can come home and relax. Life is just better when a husband is not stressed out by some things.
you are blessed! and so true how our children grow way too fast. :o)
Spot on. Whenever I have those doubts, I picture myself at 80, looking back. If I stay home, what would I regret? If I returned to the workforce, what would I regret? Always sure that I won’t regret not pushing paper, but I would regret missing out on my kids. Work is always there, childhood is fleeting.
Oh I can go on and on about this subject. I am so blessed to be able to stay at home. Sure, there are days of doubt, then the Lord brings you revelation (like through a child’s need for their mother). When I think of the days I worked while my child was in daycare. My son got lots of ear infections and it was always so stressful having to tell the boss I had to go pick up my child because he was sick at day care. Then, the arranging of schedules to watch him. Oh, I’ll stop now because it just sounds like such a nightmare as I think back on it now. No, now there are freedoms I would never exchange for more money, a bigger house, a newer car, etc. So, I say in a SAHM’s battle cry…let those snow days from school come…we’re looking forward to them!
If you want to read a couple of my posts trying to figure out SAHMotherhood, here’s some:
http://feellovdeveryday.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-am-lovd.html
http://feellovdeveryday.blogspot.com/2011/09/accepting-your-journey.html
I too was so blessed to be able to be home for the first 12 years of my daughters life, and than worked a part time job around her schedule and now am full time at home again. So fortunate and I know it has made a difference in who our daughter is and whom she is becoming. As a Senior, she has a schedule that allows for her to come home by 12:30 most days and she is always chatty, ready to talk and share and I have to wonder…what would she be doing if I wasn’t here to meet her needs and share with her when she’s willing and interested in sharing. Children are fickle, and as they age and become more independent we need to find a way to keep the communication lines open, and I’ve personally found that when my 17 year old is interested in spending time with me, shopping, going to lunch (yesterday we went to Olive Garden), and chat with me, I had best be available and seize each opportunity. In August she’ll be going off to the University and will be living on her own, and for too many years I was soooo busy doing my vintage jewelry redesign business in our home, that I had become the “just a minute Mom” and those minutes were always filled with the next task at hand. Thank the Lord I had a wake up call and now realize the time is fleeting and our kids need our attention more than we realize.
I believe God gave you a sick child, so that you could know in your heart as well as your mind combined together, what it was you needed for peace of your restlessness and decision that you were struggling with. He does work in mysterious ways.
Enjoy the blessings of having a bright husband, a hard worker and just give him a few extra strokes and pats on the back for all he does and is able to do for your family. Our appreciation towards the men in our lives allowing us to be at home is so important in sustaining their pace that they work to provide this luxury.
Enjoy your day at home~ and be blessed!
Gretchen
http://mimitoriasdesigns.blogspot.com
What I know for sure…a loving mother is a precious gift. Why is it, that a stay home Mom is made to feel that she is somehow less? The media is always telling women, Mom or not that you’re not good enough, and if you did this, you’d be better. It’s a trap, push it away. My husband called me several years ago on his way into work and said “thank you” and I said for what. As he sat in traffic, he noticed a women and her baby in the car next to him. She was crying, the baby was crying and still in his jammies. He was reaching out to her because he needed her, she needed to hug and kiss him because he needed her. But that wasn’t to be because she had to get him to daycare and she had to get to work. My husband was grateful that that wasn’t how we started our day. I prayed for that Mom for weeks. It’s not easy being a Mom, woman, wife, sister, daughter, or friend. So encourage every women you come in contact with. You’ll never know how much she needs a kind word or smile.
Lovely words and very true. There is nothing better than being there to raise your children day in and day out. I too am blessed that my husband wanted me to stay at home and while we may forego some luxuries because of it, it is all worth it in the end.
Have a wonderful day!
Lorrene
It was worth it ~ One of my kids as an adult told me that just knowing I was home and available was appreciated. Most of their friends had divorced parents whose home lives were scattered and hectic.
Being a Navy mom at the time was tough also. With our disrupted lives, new schools, new friends and yes some times the struggle of being lonely because of being the new kid all the time.. it took a toll. My being home was the one thing they counted on in their young lives. Everyone’s situation is different and most moms nowdays don’t seem to have a choice of whether or not to work. I just wish there wasn’t this guilt associated with either the working or stay at home Moms. Kuddos for your choice.
As a mom who wishes I could stay at home, I can tell you that you’ll never regret the decision to be there for your kids. Not just when they’re sick, but the everyday, being home when they get home, not so wore out from your “real” job that you have a hard time focusing on what they need from you. It is a rare and precious thing in today’s world to be a full-time Mom, and you and your husband should be commended for sacrificing financially to make it work. It’s been said so many times, but after your kids are grown, you’ll never look back and think, “I wish I’d spent more time working.”
Hi! You are so gorgeous. Love your style and blog so much. Please follow my blog…
♥Love from Antalya♥
http://antalya-magnificent-city.blogspot.com
I just found your blog lately and I love ALL the inspiration – such great projects. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the SAHM; I am also one and also get restless at times. Yes we have picked the right road, even though it is the one least traveled on! 🙂
Lucky kids… lucky mommy.
That’s so awesome! It is those MOMents that make us realize that what we do is important too!
thanks for such a great post! They are lucky kids and hubby to have you!
What a wonderful reminder about what’s important in life, Lucy. I’ve been feeling that my life is rather blah lately and needs a little spark. I think I need to get out and spend more time with my two favorite little people 🙂
As a mom you ROCK. I made the same decision you did over 13 years ago, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Although there are some days when I have to run away from home for a little while, I know I’ll always come back.
-Paulette
3sisters-pjr.blogspot.com
You totally made the right choice – it is the same one I have wondered if I made the right choice over the years. But now as our baby is now 20 and I see the good that has come from having those years of mom at home, I would like to shout it from the housetops that it was the right choice. Our children are well adjusted contributing to society adults. They love their own families, their focus is on people and they love their dad and me. A bonus I hadn’t even considered – they love one another and have a loyalty there that is unique – I could go on and on about it. I had the education we could have doubled our income over the years, had a bigger house, more toys etc. But none of that is worth what we have today. Love this post! Paula http://bucketideasforchristmas.blogspot.com/
…and in the blink of an eye, they are grown and gone. My youngest, the twins, are in their last year of college…I wonder where all the time has gone. I look back and have not one regret of staying home with all of our children. I feel so blessed that I was able to stay home and put my all into this family. ~enjoy!
you will only look back and say why did I not choose to stay home with my life that I started.
Never for work, if you can, please stay home, you will never have any regrets. You can always go back to work but you can never go back to the memories you shared with your children.
Me encanta!!
Definitivamente hay momento para todo, para mi es el momento de ser esposa y profesional, pero cuando venga el momento de los bebes espero tener la bendición de estar con ellos todo el tiempo. Dios nos hizo para ser mamitas y estar con los hijos es el mejor trabajo del mundo.
Me encanta este post! un abrazote!